I really should stop the insanity

of researching autoimmune diseases/disorders.  I should, instead, patiently wait on Tuesday's visit.  I should wait until I have more information and just chill.

That is hard though.  Very hard.  I have friends who suffer a variety of illnesses due in this "category". .  I have one dear friend who lost her 12 year old niece when her illnesses wasn't diagnosed in time.  Granted, what they discovered she had was a very, very rare form .... but this child is in the back of my mind.


Girlchild was still asleep when I left the house just before 11 am. 

She was in bed before 8:00 pm and didn't eat dinner.   She said she was just tired and not feeling well.  Tonight marks a week of that.

Because, as I said, I have friends who have autoimmune disorders. I already had an average/above average knowledge of what it all means/could mean. Those years of  friendship and the research I've done this week equal my brain being in overdrive.

  When I look at "symptoms" or "markers" of some of these illnesses I see so many things that stand out.  

• The unexplained fevers, throughout her whole life
• The swollen joints in her feet (she was born with bunions)
• The levels of protein in her urine (this was primarily when she was 3-5)
• The body aches and swelling (knees and arms mostly)
• Her Anemia
• The tiredness
• The way she can't shake illnesses
• The stomach aches (started when she was around 2 and often included paleness)

I am at a crossroads here -- I want to go to this doctor's visit prepared and knowledgeable enough to ask questions but not freaked out.  Where is that line?