Obey God

I read a blog this morning about listening to God and it compelled me to share this story:

For over a month I had a feeling my son was going to be in a wreck … this
was an overwhelming feeling I could not shake.   I almost convinced myself
that it was because it was prom time (normal time for all moms to panic you
know) … but I knew it was more than that.  It was to the point I’d wake up
at night ‘panicked’ and I’d worry every time he went somewhere.   Because at
the time I was in a place where I was struggling with my relationship with
God, I did pray but I didn’t pray about it as much as I should have.
This Sunday the Sunday School lesson spoke to me ... ok, it screamed at me.
A few lines stood out to me and they are as follows:

*God will be merciful to those who are merciful.*

*At other times, it becomes our duty to extend mercy to people who seem mot
to deserve it at all, may not appreciate it, and will not extend mercy to
others.*


*Be merciful and be blessed*.

*He said, if we forgive others, God will forgive us; and forgiveness is one
of the most frequent and important ways of being merciful to others.*

Now to explain why those words spoke to me I will only say that recently
someone hurt me very badly, someone I thought was a friend.   This person
attempted to apologize to me and because I was hurt and because I felt (and
still feel) the apology was not genuine I didn’t accept it.  Because this
person expressed to me that she was struggling with her own faith it
bothered me I didn’t accept the apology.

I will not now or ever explain exactly what transpired between us because it
simply doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things – that is not what this
story is about.  And it’s unfair to involve other people in my testimony
without their permission or knowledge.   The second quote above let me know
that my forgiving her was not about her or even about me, it was about God
and doing what was right, doing what he says to do.   The entire time I was
sitting listening to the lesson I was hearing in my head the message to
‘forgive’ and I’d be shown mercy.  To not expect to be blessed by God with
my own needs if I wasn’t able to follow his word.  It was loud, it was clear
and it was impossible for me to ignore.

I left right then and sent an email letting this person know that I forgave
her and hoped that she would forgive herself and find her faith again.  As I
expected I didn’t hear back from her but the second quote above let me know
I did my part, I followed God’s word for the right reasons.  If her apology
was insincere – it’s no longer my concern and no longer angers me.  I pray
that she finds faith, forgiveness and peace.

The very next day my fear was realized and my son was involved in a horrible
accident that by all accounts should have taken his life.  But God showed me
and him the mercy he promised.   I  believe in my heart that this accident
was destined to happen and would have happened no matter what I did that
Sunday but in my heart of hearts, I do believe that God showed my son mercy
– showed ME mercy that day, because I obeyed his command.

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