I'm a little angry

Since I took such a long break from blog writing I wasn't posting when my dad had a stroke last month.

There was a period of time I honestly thought he was going to die.   There was a period of time the doctors thought he might too.

He's been told to take his meds, work on getting his stress level down and getting his BP and Blood Sugar regulated.  These are all necessary to prevent more strokes.  

When dad was admitted into the hospital for the 3rd time and we finally found out that our fears were true, that he had been having strokes, my brother was in rehab.  This was his request and since it was we had hopes he meant it this time.  

Yesterday was my dad's birthday.   Yesterday was also the day my brother failed his surprise drug test  (part of his probation) and was arrested.

I admit, I  have never personally had a drug addiction, so, no I do not understand.  Knowing my extended family has a history of addiction problems (be it smoking, drugs or alcohol) I have made a conscious decision to never start two of those.  I do drink, but very rarely, and never more than 2 at a time.  

Knowing I have never walked his walk, I DO feel guilty for feeling angry, but ..... our dad almost died. What bigger wake-up call does my brother need?  

He has hit bottom so many times that I often wonder if any bottom will ever be enough.

I even feel bad for this post but dang!

I got the call at work yesterday morning telling me he had been arrested and I admit I have concerns for him, I pray for him, I WANT him to get his life together .... but my very FIRST thought was my daddy and how he was going to handle this ongoing stress.

That is where my anger comes in.  :-(